Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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