Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
