Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
