Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
