that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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