Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
420 ftw
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
