he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
