This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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