Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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