I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
even my farts smell like vagina
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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