That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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