YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
