Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
