Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
