lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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