It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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