let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
