wakey wakey hands off snakey
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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