dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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