yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
