that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
