At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
