lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
