my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
