Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
