I am puke
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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