I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
