Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
