Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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