Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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