I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
