Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
