I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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