Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
