he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
