dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Boobs speak an international language.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
