Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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