there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
