Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
