I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
