haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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