he shaved USA in his pubs
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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