nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
