no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
