i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
