craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
