So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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