not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
