Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I had to cum in my sink.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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