Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize